but she loves him
by Miss Angi
Summary: Korra still has conflicting feelings about the one and only firebender Mako...
1. she loves him

**_Note: I plan to do a Makorra feels (smut) fanfic where Mako tells Asami the truth and she feels she can't trust anyone anymore… leaving to talk to her dad since she wants check on him (as a excuse to leave). Leaving Mako and Korra feeling guilty again and Mako goes to Korra for comfort to explain everything… and they share a tender sweet moment —sweet smut (if there is such a thing) If interested please review or message me with suggestions and such thanks._**

The avatar's bed room door swung open as she stumbled in grumbling inaudible words to herself. The frustrated avatar headed right to her bed shuffling her feet along the way. Basically collapsing, she landed face first in the blankets and let out a long held scream. With all might she gripping the blanket and futon under her hands, muffling her scream of total frustration and anger. Pausing a moment she lifted her head off the blanket and taking a breath. Sighing,

Rolling her body around she lay on her back, starting to kick her feet to get her boots off. Just too lazy to just sit up and do it herself. Letting them fall at the foot of her bed she brought her knees toward herself, curling her toes in as she let out another hard exhale cracking her back as it arched. Placing her bare feet on the covers flat, she slid them until her knees were a comfortable 45 degree angle.

Closing her eyes she tried to clear her mind… she knew she should be out mediating … but she didn't feel like it right now. She just was fed up and frustrated with herself…with everything. She was supposed to be the damn avatar and she still couldn't airbend for the life of her—just nothing. Yeah sure she could 'move' like an air bender but nothing more. She didn't know what her problem was…maybe it was that distraction of a certain firebender.

She sighed as her thoughts once again for the 100th time hover to him.

It had been a few weeks rooming together but her feelings didn't decrease like she hoped… they strengthen and even though she didn't want to admit it then but she could feel it now. Yeah she tried to avoid him by training almost 24/7 but it was hard. Thei interactions consisted of training, aguing, eating, arguing, fighting…sparing, more bickering…, and then some civilized convo. But no matter she couldn't stop thinking about him in that 'romantic light', she thought she had a hold of it and threw it aside weeks ago but she was wrong…

He was always on her mind even though she tried to forget him- just let him go—cut him off and make it easier for everyone. The girl tried to push him to Asami… but he would pull her back in… unintentionally of course. He was her friend and he cared about her, she knew it would be suspicious if she completely ignored him… she didn't want that sort of attention drawn to her.

He was always with Asami… comforting her and being the boyfriend he needed to be for her… like she asked him to do on the air ship. She tried to put on this front like she didn't care like she always did, but it was harder when she saw them all the time. It pained her so… she needed him too but that was impossible now… she needed to stay focused on being the avatar nothing more.

She sucked in air as she felt her eyes burn she closed them hard, why did all this had to so hard. She didn't understand what was so special about this ONE guy to make her heart ache so much… took hostage of her thoughts and she had no control of it. Yeah he was handsome and a great athlete… but it was deeper than that; he was generous, sacrificing, loving, dedicated… BUT confusing, a smart ass, a insensitive … at time over confident prink that cared at time just too much. And even though he was being a total ass to her before he apologized each and everytime… so she couldn't hold it against him. She couldn't stand him – but she loved him…


	2. he loves her

As Korra went through her thoughts as she slowly fell asleep, her body becoming limp and relaxed.

The bed head brunette stirred slightly in her sleep, feeling a presence to the right of her. Hesitantly Korra opened her eyes turning her head; examining the figure that sat on the side, gazing at her. She recognized the crimson colored cloth wrapped around their neck and she knew …it was Mako … and he was giving her a gentle endearing smile.

The girl's heart skipped a beat thinking she must be going crazy—'now I'm imaging Mako- in my room-on her bed (like she hasn't already). Blinking and rubbing her eyes the poor girl wanted to make sure he was real to reexamine her sanity… . Mako noticing her confusion leaned forward to touch her shoulder with a soft smile confirming, "Hey Korra it's me Ma- "

His words were interrupted by Korra freaking out by his touch, 'He _IS_ real it IS him—!' she exclaimed in her head. Her reactions of total shock and embarrassment shot through her, scrambling from his grasp, her eyes wide. The young man was taken aback by her reaction; remembering the time they slept under the tree in the park, chuckling at that fact.

Realizing the female was about to fall off her bed, "Woah" he exclaimed jumping up quickly from his seated position catching her around the waist. Surprised by his save diverting her eyes from his for the moment, Korra tried to play off her spasm. Saying with a forced cough, "*cough cough* thanks…" she trailed off, looking up to meet Mako's gaze. He captured her eyes once again, giving her that same smile that made her heart skip—cheeks flush—and stomach churns. -their faces inching closer…

Snapping out of her flustered state, she finally realized Mako was still holding her waist. Just feeling too close and hot for comfort, the female pushed the firebender's face away with her palm. "Let go already, don't be such a creeper…w-watching me sleep." She exclaimed with a slight stutter. Turning her flustered face away being released, landing on the bed. She did not want to get caught in another kiss again with his boy. She couldn't he was with Asami and that would be wrong she had to brake it off even though she wanted to taste his lips once again.

She looked up and over at her crush, rubbing his nose not saying a word. She found this odd, she really expected him to spat back to her, "What the big idea—I'm no creeper, don't be such a spaz over nothing—"and then they'd go at it agreeing… but that wasn't the case now. He had this solemn expression on his face as he stuck his hands in his pockets, sighing.

Korra sat up feeling guilty for being so rude… when obviously something was wrong. Awkwardly she shifted her weight on the bed twiddling her thumbs. Nervously she sucked in her dry lip, licking them thinking if she should ask him… since he was here for a reason—right?

"What's wrong?" she asked him, looking over with genuine concern. Korra couldn't remember ever seeing Mako so … calm but …sad, she couldn't find the right word. She patted the opened spot next to her at the foot of the bed, urging him over when he hesitated.

Looking up at the girl when he heard the pat noise, he paused a moment then compiled as she urged him over. Taking the offered seat on the soft covers he sighed, Korra looked over at him waiting. Lifting her hand she placed it on his shoulder with slight indecision, rubbing it shortly she stated. "… tell me… I'm here for you…" she bit her lip at the last part as he looked over at her and spoke,

"I told Asami… about the kiss…" sighing again he paused. Korra did not expect him to say that she felt a lump in her throat wondering what she said, her heart beat was quickening, having a bittersweet feeling well up in her. "… about how I felt about her… about you…and how I was still confused…" he trailed off letting out a hard exhale.

Korra waited a few more moments not wanting to interrupt him and dared to asked, "What did she say…?" already having a pretty good idea of the overall outcome, assuming from his demeanor.

"Well…  
***********

"Asami I need to tell you something…"

"Yes?" the olive eyed girl asked wondering what her boyfriend wanted to tell her. She noticed the off-ness of his voice as he trailed off she knew it was serious. Taking a breath mako admitted,

"Korra and I …kissed." He let out another hard breath not daring to look up to met her eyes, ones that started to well up with tears and fill with pure confusion.

"…What…?" she said with total disbelief trying to hold back the tears. "…when?" her words sounded hard and rigid coming from her mouth now. Trying to stay sturn,

"Right after the semi finals." He answered looking up at her, knowing he had to look at her. See all the pain he was causing her, he needed to see it. Asami stayed quiet for a moment processing his words thinking a moment realizing something.

"…so you mean to tell me…that you guys kissed more than a month ago and you now decide to tell me...why is that?" she asked stepping toward him to look him right in the eyes.

"I know …I just wanted to come clean…I should of told you earlier but…" he answer with a gulp as she saw her come closer giving him with hurt look… but she didn't look like she believed him.

"…but what…you thought I was petty… even shallow enough to take away you sponsorship over it—really Mako? I assumed you thought better of me… I guess not…" she trailed turning away a moment to hold in her tears. "Or was it that you were only staying with me to repay for my help getting the sponsorship… support financially- hum?"

"No I—" Mako was interrupted mid sentence by her words.

"Just tell me this then…who kissed who first…" she trailed looking up at him wanting his answer, afraid of his next words.

"Korra kissed me—" Mako started but the shocked girl interjected,

"…pardon? oh my gosh…how could she…I mean…I thought—"

"…but I kissed her back…" and that's when Asami's heart dropped to the ground and she couldn't hold back her feelings, no control. She went up to him and gave him a hard slap across the face.

"Mako? Y-yo-you kissed her—" she hissed in his face. "…I mean if she just kissed you that's enough… but that's cheating- you cheated on me with her!… WHY …why Mako— do you love her then?" she asked clenching her fists in pulses. Mako held his cheek a moment and dropped his hand letting it throb, he deserved all of it. Mako stayed silent, not sure what to say. But before he could fully collect his thoughts she started again, guessing he was just too quiet. "…You do …don't you…? That's why you never said you love me -_ever_…isn't it?"

"Asami… I-I do l-lo...like you so much I-." He struggled to talk through pained words; he felt bad for changing his words but just couldn't say it… to say he loved her when he didn't. Asami interrupted,

"See you can't say it… you don't love me …you don't—you can't …because you love her—right?"

"Asami…"

"Save it…you can't keep denying it… if you haven't said you loved me by now. How do you expect to say it to convince me otherwise, you never will." She said harshly, grinding her teeth. "I knew something was going on between you two. But I didn't want to admit it…" Asami wiped her streaming tears away, continuing her choked words. "… the way you always argue with her with all that tension … The way—that way you look at her when you think no one's looking—I see you Mako. I thought I was seeing things but I wasn't." She was right about everything; he had no idea he was that obvious sometimes… that she recognized it. His thoughts were cut through by her next words, "—does Bolin know?" Mako solemnly nodded,

"Yes, he saw us…" he trailed off remembering how he hurt his brother and now he was hurting Asami.

"Of course he would know too…" she throws her hands up. "…*sigh* all three of you knew…I thought I could trust you guys… but now I'm not too sure now." She stated

"I was—I am confused Asami I'm sorry."

"Confused…sorry?…you're asking for forgiveness now…"

"I'd like you to forgive me… forgive Korra but I don't blame you if you don't…"

"…I – I just don't know… I need to think… I just feel like I can't trust anyone anymore…" Asami sucked in her lips, closing her eyes hard. Leaning against the railing near her she thought of her next course of action… taking a few long moments to think she finally spoke shaking her head, "I can't do this Mako… I think I have to leave… check on dad at least…I haven't seen him in awhile so I think now is a good time." She let out a hard breathe, "I feel like I'm holding you back…like I'm forcing you love me and that isn't fair…to anyone. In the long run someone will get hurt… and I feel if I end it now… we can avoid it. Making the choice for you so you don't have to… no confusion—no obligations just ending it…simple…"

Finishing his explanation of what happened with Asami, Korra diverted her eyes sucking in her lips. She felt like it was all her fault any of this happened… if she just kept her feelings to herself Asami wouldn't be hurting now. She had mixed feeling about the kiss... had no real idea how Mako felt even though he indirectly explained it.

Letting out a hard breathe Mako continued, "… she's leaving in the morning… she may… or may not come back… I don't know." He trailed. Korra shifted her weight on the covers.

"Do you regret it… " she asked looking over at him. Thinking a moment he shook his head,

"No…I don't regret cuz it had to be done… I feel guilty … terrible for keeping my feeling and the kiss secret from her… cheating on her like I did…hurting her…but then again … it all feels bittersweet. We came to a mutual agreement to break it off even though it was painful. But there is nothing holding me back now…" he trialed off.

"Holding you back from —" Korra's words were muffled by Mako's lips gently pressing against her's. It was a short sweet kiss, that made the waterbender's lips tingle and her face heat up quick. Korra couldn't believe his sudden action, she couldn't. She immediately pushing him away,

"Mako what are you doing?" * she exclaimed standing up to get up away from him. He still sat on the bed, "Just because you can't have her you think automatically if you kiss me I'll just fall in your arms… NO! You guys just broke up. I'm no one's second pick I'm no rebound got it…" trying to calm herself she balled her fist getting in his face. "I don't care …" she trailed off looking at him just looking at her heart raced… she felt hot again and spatted out, "—how much I l-like you and how I can't stop thinking about you I just can't – I can –" Mako got up and embraced her, the flustered brunette tried to push him away by pounding his chest with her fists but gave up. "Mako why do you do this… make it so hard.!" She cried out to him. "Why?"

"Because I've fallen for ." He exclaimed looking right into her eyes. "I love you!" No hesitation, Korra bit her lip hard captured by him once again. She hated had he did this to her… making her heart race and body flush. She couldn't believe he said that so directly no stammer or hesitation. He meant it,

"You love me?"

"Yes I do Korra …. please …please." He pleaded, "Let me in… I need you and you need me." Holding her arms tightly, looking into her … he was just so captured by her confused magnificent oceanic eyes and she was caught by his fierce gold. Their opened mouths hovered near their lips sharing breathe a few moments until she started to inch away she mouthed, "I need time…" trying to slip from his embrace. Mako heard her words and whispered back in her ear,

"I know you do but…" he trailed off, he just needed this moment to hold her. Bring her up to his face to give her one more peck. But she shoved him away, pushing Mako's arms down, crying out.

"Stop NO… not now. Mako do you not understand…you're a liability." She spat, "All you'll be is a distraction—and I can't afford that. Not now … I HAVE TO stay focused. I have no time for any of this! That's why I was trying to let you go, so I could do my duty effectively—as the avatar. " letting out a exasperated breathe, "But I can't even do that… I still have no solid lead with amon-the city gradually falling apart... separating—I can't even airbend… how can I be the avatar if I can't even airbend!—I'm putting all I care about at risk each and every day. How can I do this—I don't know. I just can never do anything right it seems." exclaimed grabbing her head , ready to pull her hair out. Her stress was rising up and this was not helping. "Just go!"

"But korr—"

"GO!" She screamed grabbing his coat and pushing him out the door.

The young male stumbled out as the door slammed behind him. He stood there a moment sighing, he hated to watch the girl he loved and cared for so dearly go through all this pain and hardship, emotionally alone. He respected the fact that she needed time to think everything over… but he so badly wanted to help her—be by her side. It made him crazy how he felt useless. He couldn't just stand aside and watch – he couldn't. Balling up his fists he cussed at himself, shaking his head. Walking back to his room… feeling dejected.


End file.
